Craving Connection Part 3

This week my Peak313 Challenge is about cravings.  The Soul Food is 1 John 2:16, which speaks to cravings and how they are sinful and of the world. I have been blogging about the correlations I have realized between my food cravings and my non-food cravings.  Hey, it's an interesting way to tackle some of the things that trouble me.   I have taken on Cheese Fries and Family Time, Cheesecake and Financial Stability and today for my final post on this subject I am tackling Chinese Food and An Organized Lifestyle.  Just thinking about them makes me want to sort mail while eating some crab rangoons.....

Food Craving #3-Chinese Food, mainly the take-out kind.  Fried rice, crab rangoons, almond chicken, lo mein, broccoli beef-I'm not picky with this craving. While not a fan of the cheap buffet version, I can definitely devour massive quantities if I am in the right, ahem, I mean WRONG mind set.  

Non-Food Craving #2-An Organized Lifestyle.  I know, another silly sounding craving right?  Anyone that knows me knows that I enjoy things to be orderly and organized.  Many criticize this craving of mine, but as long as I keep it in check, I think it does a lot of good. 

Chinese food, what is the allure?  Besides the salty fix it gives me, it is typically presented in a very nice orderly manner.  Already seeing that correlation?  When you get the Chinese food, it is typically packed in little quaint boxes or in a compartmentalized box with a few entrees separated nicely.  Aside from organization, Chinese food brings repetition-most take out menus are basically the same and I always know what the dish will typically taste like.  Did I mention it is also GOOOOODDDD?  I am fantasizing here as I eat my avocado, black bean and spinach salad for lunch.  :-)

It wasn't difficult to find the relationship between my Chinese food craving and my craving to have an organized lifestyle.  I love to have things planned, organized and executed well.  My family benefits because we all know where things are, when something is going to happen and we don't waste our time searching through clutter for necessities.  Like I mentioned before, MANY people tell me I'm too organized or am wasting my life cleaning and getting my ducks in a row.  It took me a long time to not be hurt by them, but now I realize God helps me keep balance. I often do these tasks while the kids are still asleep or we do them together.  Everyday I make sure that my time de-cluttering or cleaning or planning never interrupts special time with my family.  We even ENJOY making the monthly calendar together.  

Several times I ask God to help me not be quick to anger when someone attacks how I live.  As I stated, I truly believe I am not wasting time and it actually saves my family time and money that we can put toward meaningful things rather than replacing something that was lost, paying a late fee, showing up late, etc.  Children thrive in an organized environment where tasks are completed on time and there is stability.  Organization and repetition go hand in hand (like I mentioned about my yummy Chinese food above) and I thank God that he has helped me provide that for my family. 

So the next time I find myself becoming too immersed in organizing my life or the next time I want to eat pounds of lo mein, I must remember  1 Corinthians 8:9 (NIV) Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak. 

Although I was first apprehensive, it has been great week  identifying my cravings and using scripture to help me keep them in check. Hoping all my Peak313 friends found it useful. 

Craving Connection Part 2

This week my Peak313 Challenge is about cravings.  The Soul Food is 1 John 2:16, which speaks to cravings and how they are sinful and of the world. I have found relationships between my food cravings and my non-food cravings.  Seems a little funny to me, but also makes a lot of sense.  Yesterday I tackled my craving for Cheese Fries and Family Time.  Today in Part 2 of 3 I take on Cheesecake and Financial Stability.  Before you laugh, to me there IS a connection between the two!

Food Craving #2-Cheesecake.  Enough said.

Non-Food Craving #2-Financial Stability.   I crave it so bad I feel defeated when an extra bill comes up or I don't get the raise I wanted. I also find myself envious of those who appear more stable than me.  I know that God wants us to be good stewards of our money and when I start feeling less stable, I feel like I have failed. 

I was a teenager when I had Lo and many times I wasn't sure if I could pay my bills. I was terrified she was going to grow up like I had, with parents that had no desire to gain or maintain financial stability.  I used that thought to drive me through college and graduate school while working full time.  I also married my wasband because I craved financial stability so deeply, only to find myself a single mother again seven years later.  Fortunately, although not always easy, I maintain a household where I pay the bills, where my children learn how to be responsible with money and there is a future for them. Of course that doesn’t mean I don’t worry about money, I do.  I pray that God helps me with that worry and reminds me of my blessings.

Does cheesecake equate to financial stability?  YES!  To me growing up, special things like cheesecake equaled extra money. I remember going to eat one time with a wealthy friend of mine.  Her parents took us to a nice restaurant with a dessert tray full of gorgeous cheesecakes that seemed very normal to them.  I remember being in awe but tried to hide my excitement so they wouldn’t know that this was not the norm for my family.

I know that our wealth is not measured by anything on this earth and I know it sounds a little silly, but cheesecake reminds me that good things in small quantities are better for both my physical and fiscal health. I can have a piece of cheesecake every now and then, it doesn’t make me fancy or wealthy by any means-it just reminds me that hard work affords small rewards.  I pray God continues to bless my family with good physical and fiscal health. I also pray for strength when I crave things that could damage either one of those. 

Tomorrow I finish up my Top 3 Cravings with Chinese Food and An Organized Lifestyle

Craving Connection Part 1

This week my Peak313 Challenge is about cravings.  The Soul Food is 1 John 2:16, which speaks to cravings and how they are sinful and of the world. Clare, who facilitates the Peak313 Challenge, challenged us to list our top three cravings, when we tend to have them and to pray and take control of them.  It was also mentioned that cravings are not always food cravings.  As I was  contemplating my list, I figured out my food cravings coincide with my non-food cravings. Can any else see the little light bulb above my head?

Today is Part 1 of 3 and the subject is: Cheese Fries and Family Time.  Oh, cheese fries, how I crave you-almost as much as I crave time with my family!  

Food Craving #1-Cheese Fries. Specifically Eskimo Joe's cheese fries with bacon.  There is a reason their logo has huge smiles. 

Non-Food Craving #1-Family Time.  Some may not call it a craving, but I do and sometimes it is to a fault.  I find myself hurt when I think they don't want to spend time with me, when it's usually because time/schedules do not allow it. I also sadly know that it has been a downfall in my co-parenting with my wasband (ex husband). Too many times  I was selfish and did not want to share the kids with him and there have been several times that I have lashed out at him because he doesn't seem to crave time with the kids like I do. I have found myself attempting to make my teen aged daughter, Lo, feel guilty if she would rather hang with friends than with me and her brother, Bubby. 

B's schedule and my schedule do not always sink up.  We dated four years before getting engaged and a lot of that time he was on business trips or I was traveling with my job or just busy with the kids.  Both B and I also have our own obligations, lives, friends, etc that we are used to since we have both been single for so long. I always see our time together as important and not always as much as I would want it to be. I tend to get mad or moody when we don't have our time together and I admit, unfairly take it out on him.

What does this have to do with Eskimo Joe's cheese fries?  Well, Eskimo Joes's is two hours from my home and in Stillwater where much of my family resides. The kids and I have enjoyed many memories there with family, each trip is always an event and something I cherish dearly. B and I have also made the trip.  To me cheese fries not only equal a cheesy yummy plate full of fun, but also fond memories of my family and the time I hold so dear. I find myself longing for cheese fries when I haven't seen or spent enough time with my family.  

I pray that God helps me resist too many cheese fries and helps me understand the balance between family time and life's other responsibilities. I pray He guides my ways and tongue when I feel hurt at the lack of family time. 

Tomorrow:  Cheesecake and Financial Stability.

Have a great day!  

33% and Under 10

Week 2 of my Peak313 Challenge and Week 3 of the challenge B and I have are over. I have worked my jiggly bits off, counted and stayed within my calorie range EVERY day and revamped the way I live.  Even though I have the day off since my kids are out of school and tried desperately to sleep in, I was way too excited to weigh in this week.  After last week's 'stayed the same' weigh in, I went to the scale with anticipation.......I LOST 3 POUNDS!!!!!!!

Three pounds may not seem a lot to some people, but let me put it into perspective.  It was Week 3 of the challenge B and I levied on ourselves to get back to our goal weights. The first week of that challenge I lost 1 pound, thus making my total weight loss so far 4 pounds in 3 weeks. Since I have, I mean HAD 12 pounds to lose that means I am 33% of my goal.  That also means I have under 10 pounds to lose, which to me just feels more attainable in my stressful crazy busy life. 

As I said last week, I am not defined by the number on the scale, although it is a nice quantifiable measure.  My success this week can be measured in so many other ways, much more important ways.  The Soul Food Verse from my Peak 313 Challenge last week was Matthew 6:34 which reminds me to give my worries to God, to not worry so much about tomorrow and take it one day at a time.  Too much worry caused stress and overwhelming feelings which often led to slacking on my workouts and eating poorly in the past. I truly meditated on that verse this week and felt a lot of worry lifted. To me that is a great measurement of the changes in my life spurred by these challenges! 

Although I was not spending a lot of time worrying, I did do a lot of planning this week.  I planned to exercise, even on the busiest of days when only 30 minutes were possible.  I ended up exercising every day.  I can remember on Friday I was exhausted from a stressful week of work and was ready to go home and crash.  I made myself drive  to the park after work and family obligations for a run. I was out running errands anyway and I knew if I went back home I would crash.  I had planned to workout that day and it was going to happen one way or another.  I also planned my meals and snacks this week.  By packing my lunch and snacks I steered clear of the vending machines and crapeteria at work.  That was a big feat for me because the higher the stress in the office (ultimately high last week) the more likely I am to eat something high in calories.  I also wrote my Daily 10 List and planned specific time with God each day, invaluable planning efforts that just made the week seem achievable even in my lowest moments. 

For the Peak313 Challenge this week we are challenged to overcome our cravings, 1 John 2:16.   Cravings often come from something else lacking in our lives.  Hmmmm, it's about to get deep on my challenge.  That's okay, I'm ready for it, 33% more ready.  :-)

Have a great day friends and fellow Challengers-keep rocking it out.   

My Daily 10

I am a big fan of Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project and cannot wait to read her new book Happier at Home. I first picked up The Happiness Project at the airport on a business trip. I thought this book will not teach me anything because I have always believed my happiness is up to my relationships with God, myself and others. I still consider this true, but The Happiness Project book, website and blog all offer little reminders of how we can just make life easier and thus happier.

One of the musings that I ran across again today on Rubin's website is If I Can’t Accomplish Anything Else Today, I Can Do These 10 Things. I recalled when I first came across her list and realized I was going to start one of my own, which I never did.  I think since it's Friday and it's nice outside, I might as well make it a banner day and start My Daily 10 List.  Rubin had a few on her list that made mine. It was fun to see what I really think is a priority each day, what will give me some more happiness. 


If I Can't Accomplish Anything Else Today, I Can (WILL) Do These 10 Things: 

• Thank God for another day-I have started doing this recently before I even get out of bed.  It allows me some quiet time for prayer and thankfulness.

• Make my bed-I love, love, love how much more relaxed I am when I come home from work to a made bed.  My room seems much more inviting.

• Tell my family I love them-Try to do this every day even with my son Bubby at his dad's part of the week,thank God we still get our daily calls.

• Wear my seat belt-Typically my habit, but once in awhile I forget. Reminds me that I am not only being safe for myself, but for my kids as well-they need their mama.

• Tell my coworkers good morning-Yes, even the ones I am not incredibly fond of.

• Tidy the house before going to bed-It just makes the morning smoother and nothing piles up and becomes overwhelming.

• Give my dogs love pats and pets-They are my furkids and need love too! 

• Exercise at least 30 minutes-It just improves my mood, not to mention my body.  Win/Win.

• Read one chapter-I am an avid reader, it helps me unwind and keeps my mind from going on murmur. 

• Place tomorrow's essentials (to do list, lunch box, phone, keys, etc.)    where I can grab them-Nothing like a little grab and go when you are in a hurry.

Putting this up on the fridge, little reminders and pick me ups are always a good thing.  TGIF.  

One Day At A Time-

My Week 2 Soul Food for the Peak313 Challenge is Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34 (NIV) Really?  I'm not suppose to worry about tomorrow-the kids, home, work, finances, health.....?  The truth is we all worry about something, but the verse reminds us to give our worries to God. Our future is already written, God has a master plan and He is in control.  Wait.....I like to be in control!!!!! 

Yes at times I am a control freak,although I hate to admit it. I can't stand delegating tasks at work. I am at times an over-bearing mom, my daughter Lo can attest to that.  Before she can even respond to a text from me asking about her plans or what we need to do for college visits, I am firing more questions or go-dos.  I can remember working myself in to several frenzies planning holiday get-togethers or birthday parties. When I am slacking on my exercise or eating poorly, I really beat myself up because I consider myself out of control.  I had to learn to let go of some of that-I'm not perfect, no one is perfect.  What I need to remind myself is that I am really not in control of anything, it's up to God.  

I need to ask God daily for help getting through each day, to remind me I am not in control.  We never know when there will never be another tomorrow, today is all we have until we see the sun rise again. Being overwhelmed with all of life's worry should not consume my days. 

One of my favorite gospel songs as a child:

One day at a time, sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you
Give me the strength to do everything that I have to do
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine
Help me today
Show me the way
One day at a time.

As I once heard in a sermon-would I be ready to go see my heavenly father if it were my last day?  Seems to me that's the only thing  worth worrying about. 

Not Just at Thanksgiving

It's about that time of year, the time when everyone starts being thankful. Little kids start saying thank you more, in anticipation of Christmas gifts. Facebookers start posting 'What I am Thankful for Today' statuses.  Twitter blows up with thankful tweets. Being thankful is not just for the holiday season, the Bible reminds us to be thankful every day.  Yes, this even means those days when we feel like we have nothing to be thankful for.  Sometimes, I admit,this is a hard one for me.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV) So why do we find it so hard to be thankful?  I know I get so caught up in what isn't happening or what is going wrong that I forget how blessed I am.  It's nice to be reminded at the holidays to give thanks, but I must make it part of my daily routine.  God has given me two beautiful children, blessed me with my soul mate, a well paid occupation, guided me through some of the worst situations, the list is endless. 

Being thankful for everything I have everyday sometimes gets sidelined looking over the fence and trying to measure my happiness. I need to remind myself that I am truly blessed beyond measure and those blessings are not measured by how big my house is or how new my car is. They are not measured by how skinny I am or what my clothes look like.  It makes me sad that our society sends a very different image to my children.  I watch families fall apart trying to keep up with the Jones's.  I see people everyday put their morals and Christianity on the back burner in favor of greed, rising to the top of their occupation or social class.

I am not saying that working hard shouldn't allow us a comfortable lifestyle, but what makes us comfortable? Is comfortable forgetting all my blessings and constantly trying to outdo others? Or is comfortable giving thanks everyday for everything (good or bad) in my life, regardless of the situation because I know God has wonderful plans for me?  I choose the latter.  

Be thankful today and not just at Thanksgiving, friends.  God has your back even when you feel like there is nothing to be thankful for, trust me.  

I Came, I Challenged, I Stayed the Same...or Did I?

I woke up this morning with great anticipation of stepping on the scale, I had completed both week 2 of my challenge with B to get back to our goal weights as well as week 1 of the fitness challenge at Peak313.  I held my breath....come on I worked so hard....the number glowed before me and it was-THE SAME as it was last week!  WHAT???? How could this be? I counted my calories every day and worked my tail off exercising 6 days this week (even though I had planned on 7).  How did I stay the same? I feel different but my weight has not changed.  

The truth is I haven't stayed the same.  I am defined by so much more than the number on the scale.  This week I spent more time with my God, asking for strength and giving all my worries (not just weight issues) to him.  I have truly felt his presence this week and was blessed time and time again by his goodness. I feel my relationship with my heavenly father growing and changing daily.  It is not the same as it was last week or yesterday. 

I easily recalled how good I felt after hard workouts once I got back in to the routine this week.  Do I have sore muscles?  Yes.  Blisters from my new running shoes?  Oh yeah.  But it's the kind of hurt that reminds me everything worth having requires work.  Nothing happens without discipline.  My work ethic is changing too and I feel the drive I did when I had over 40 pounds to lose, not 12.  Hebrews 12:11 has been a good verse for me to meditate on this week along with the Peak 313 verse that I memorized.  

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)

I was more disciplined with my eating habits this week and stopped to pray if I felt I was eating out of emotion.  I feel the changing inside me to move away from eating out of sadness, happiness, anxiety, the list goes on and on.  My calorie count went well this week and I didn't even lie to MyFitnessPal app!  That sort of makes me giggle now but I am still ashamed I once did that.  

I will not be discouraged by the number on the scale, I feel God changing me for the better.  My physical, emotional and spiritual fitness will all be in sync one day and I keep praying I will be able to maintain them for a lifetime.  Time to head in to another week of both my challenges and I am positive that something successful will be reported again next week!

Love to all my Peak313 Challenge friends-KEEP IT UP!!!

Calleen 

Shed and Shedding...

This morning I was reading  The Shed and Share stories on Peak313 Fitness  and was inspired to share my own Shed (and Shedding) story.  I have never ever posted publicly the picture that made me say "ENOUGH" and start my shedding journey.  But, you can't truly move forward without embracing your past, right? Plus we are all in this together, we need each other and we need our God.  Let's not forget Ecclesiastes 4:12, the threefold chord is not easily broken.  Here I go (deep breath!).......

After I had developed the Christmas pictures in January 2005, I had to stop a minute and wonder who was that girl in the sweatshirt?  The answer: me. I didn't recognize myself at all.  I had never had a problem with weight, I had always been petite and lost the weight from both babies very quickly.  But this weight was something different, it was the product of a marriage that was not Christ-centered, depression, years of emotional abuse and stress beyond anything I had ever experienced.  My 'wasband' (the man I was married to previously) and I had been married for 5 years and at the young age of 26 I was balancing two children ages 9 and 4, a full time job and finishing up my bachelor's program. Believe it or not, my wasband actually preferred me in this state as he had always been insecure that I would leave him for someone else.  But, this isn't about him...so back to my story.  Below is the picture that put a stop to my weight gain and encouraged me to enter Weight Watchers in January 2005,  I was successful and lost about 40 pounds by the following summer.

Christmas 2004

I was successful at weight loss, but was unsuccessful in marriage and we sadly divorced in July 2007. It was rough being a single mother again, I had been one as a teenager.   Eventually stress started to take its toll after I bought a house and was juggling kids, new house, work, finishing up my thesis for my grad degree, and on and on.  I was also in a new relationship with B (who is now my fiance) and trying to just figure out where everyone and everything fit in was a huge task.  I ended up gaining 30  pounds back, as you can see from the picture below.  It was the beginning of football season, 2010 and I was not feeling great (despite my best thumbs up effort) about being in a crowded football stadium around a bunch of skinny moms watching my daughter cheer.  

August 2010

Again, another picture spoke a thousand words and slapped me back in to reality.  Not long after this picture, I turned 32 on November 5th and decided it was time for me to lose 32 pounds.  I joined a gym for the first time in a decade, revamped my exercise and eating habits and with B by my side, I was successful by June 2011. Candace Cameron Bure's  Reshaping It All was my guidebook and taught me that my spiritual, physical and emotional well-being is the three legged stool I must balance on.  I thought it was kind of cool that it took me just over 32 weeks to lose the 32 pounds.  By the next football season, I had lost a bonus 5 pounds and I was ready with TWO thumbs up! 

August 2011

Since August 2011, I have gained back about 12 pounds. Kind of funny, another 12 pounds in 12 months.  I enjoyed LOSING the 32 in 32 weeks way better!!!  I can't blame anything else this time but my own slacking ways.  I know I have been eating a little more, exercising a little less.  Thanks to B challenging me two weeks ago to get back to our goal weights along with the challenge I started at Peak313 Fitness  on Monday, I am ready for life long success.  My weight loss remedy is pretty simple: Spiritual, Physical and Emotional  fitness are the keys to making the thumbs go up!  

Have a Blessed Day!

Calleen   

Tough Friendship

I have heard of tough love, seems to be a buzz term that pops up on anything from a documentary of addicts to blogs on how to potty train a toddler. Tough friendship seems to be something that weighs on my mind a lot lately.  What do I mean by tough friendship?  Sure it's tough to be friends with someone who is going through a hard time or doesn't always treat you the way you treat them.  We have all been there.  What I am talking about when I refer to tough friendship is REAL friendship, the kind that isn't about keeping each other happy with compliments, remaining surface with one another and cutting ties if things get too rough or too deep.  

I recently came across a discussion on Galatians 4:12-20, where Paul speaks to the Galatians. In verse 15 Paul has a good message.  He is basically saying to a friend that they are a child of God, that they had a joyful life as His child.  He is also asking if they have forgotten who they are. When I witness a friend straying from the path God has intended for them, do I sit back or do I give a little tough friendship?

Facebook is a funny little peek in to people's lives.  Often people pride themselves on how many 'friends' they have.  But how many are truly their friends?  Case in point:  I was once 'friends' on Facebook with a woman who was having marital problems, her husband and her were no longer communicating.  The evolution of their problems was apparent in her online photo albums, gone were pictures of a fresh faced smiling wife with her husband and kids.  In their place was hundreds (literally) of snapshots of a woman I barely recognized in tight fitting revealing clothing out on the town with her 'friends.'  But were these women she was posing with really her friends?  I wonder if any of them ever asked her about her marriage or made a suggestion of how she could have saved it. What if one of her 'friends' would have offered to babysit so she could have a date  with her husband? I am sad to admit I really didn't know this woman well enough to say anything myself and I wish I would have been more of a Christian friend to her and was able to give some tough friendship. 

Tough friendship is difficult for me, I admit.  I often sound judgemental.  I have a lot of friends who express a desire to want to be more physically fit but when I invite them to fitness challenges or talk about eating healthy, I see some tune me out. I think they believe I am judging. But I believe being a true friend isn't always drowning our sorrows in cheese dip or trading 'feel sorry for me' stories, it is about helping one another be the best we can be as Christians spiritually, emotionally and physically.  Ephesians 4:15 reminds me to speak the truth in Love. I know I need to be more understanding of my friends feelings while still speaking to them in a truthful manner.  I pray God will guide my ways and tongue.  We can still have those cheese dip moments and request some pity of one another, but we must also sharpen one another.  

Challenge Accepted

Finding myself strayed 12 pounds away from my weight loss goal I reached last summer, this challenge could not have come at a better time!  B and I have also challenged one another to get back to our goal weights by November 1st so I figure this challenge can only add to my success. 

The Bible verse for this week is: Ecclesiastes 4:12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him-a threefold cord is not quickly broken.  One of my favorites as during my years as a single mom I often thought of my two children and I as a threefold cord. 

The challenge this week is: find someone else to join this challenge.  I am a little discouraged by this challenge because I recently sent out some emails to several ladies that I have expressed a need to want to lead a healthier lifestyle.  No takers, but I am praying that God will lead me to someone that will not only join this challenge, but benefit from it as well.  We can't do this alone, friends!  Anyone who wants to join (you don't have to be a blogger) can and I promise to support you.

My personal goals for this week are:

• Exercise at least 30 minutes a day, prefereably more, 7 days this week: I used to do this easily when I first started my weight loss journey, now it is more difficult. I loved getting up way early and starting my day with workouts at the gym, but lately those are more difficult and I hate working out after work. Today this is already a challenge since I am accustom to my early morning workouts at the gym and this weekend I misplaced my access card.  Hoping to get it back after work to get back on track. In the meantime I will just add a little variety with some outdoor cardio and stability ball exercises. I look forward to a wide range of exercising since I tend to get ADD on the treadmill.

• Be accountable for what I eat: I have myfitness pal app that allows me to count the calories, but I actually find myself ignoring it lately or even (sadly) LYING to it.  I know, I know-it only works if I put in the right information and own up to what I am eating.  This week I resolve to be accountable every day, even if it is ugly. 

• Stay focused and remember it is more than weight loss: A few years ago I finally figured out that my spiritual and physical well being are closely tied.  I must remember when I falter or struggle, that prayer will get me through. 

So excited  for this week and challenge!  I pray that many more will join and benefit.