From Hurtful to Heart-full

The Soul Food for Week 4 of the Peak313 Challenge is Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23 The challenge is to confront hurtful things of the past, realize how we react to hurtful situations currently and for the future, figure out what can be done to put some worries and hurt to rest.  Tall order, but I am up for it.

I guard my heart, maybe too much because it has been hurt, broken and beaten time and time again.  It's hard to let someone in after you go through so much.  Fortunately after many years of praying, I am able to let others in easier.  It is still somewhat of a challenge and something I will probably always wrestle with.  Sometimes I giggle at some of the silly things I did early in my relationship with B so I could keep him at arms length and my heart guarded.  My strong man persevered and would not be detoured by my silliness.  What a lucky girl I am.  I keep a close watch on this heart of mine....for you I'd walk the line-no wonder it's 'our song.'

I believe a lot of us have many hurtful comments from the past that creep up. From mean girl comments, to things said by old boyfriends and even nasty words from family members.  I won't even get started on the mess from my failed marriage.   I could go on and on all day about all that crud. But is that really the point of this challenge? Not for this girl, I want to stay in the positive.  I am going to focus on the now and the future.

As far as how I react to hurtful situations now, let me start with the most extreme. It took me a long time but something I heard in a sermon one day really clicked with me-Forgiving someone for hurting you does not mean you have to let them be in your life.  Too many times society sends a different message.  We are taught that forgiveness is allowing people in your life that have hurt, currently hurt and will most likely hurt you again.  I can forgive someone while guarding my heart.  I don't have to spend holidays with the relative that was abusive, I don't have to socialize with catty women who make mean girl comments (still,at this age?) and I can end the conversation when my wasband starts pushing my buttons.  My forgiveness is in my heart, something I ask God for, and not something I have to prove by letting hurtful people around.

For non-extreme hurtful moments, I try to start with prayer and ask God to help me understand why someone hurt me or realize if I was part of the equation.  I also try to not close my heart, which I have to remember is different than guarding it.  There are also times that I realize it's really not worth getting worked up over, too many other things to worry about.  Now, THAT is one peaceful feeling.

The journey from hurtful to heart-full is an interesting and sometimes scary path. I hope to continue to give my worries to God, for him to guide me through any hurtful situation and to help me forgive those who have hurt me.  It is also MY choice how I let others treat me, how I react to it and how it affects my heart. I choose a healthy heart.